Case Narrative

A Consenting Juveniles narrative is a first-hand account reporting the words of the research subject on his or her experience.

The narrative on this page is an anonymous account of correspondence conducted by SOL Research. All names of persons and places, as well as other personal details have been changed.

Amber

It was twisted around to make it look like he abused me.

Source:   SOLR correspondence

It was Amber’s story that largely spurred the Consenting Juveniles project. She first wrote to ask about contacting her former boyfriend in prison.

I was talking to a guy when I was 13 and he was 18 and he got in trouble and had to register as a sex offender. He is in jail now, but now that Im 18, can I talk to him without getting him in trouble? I really dont think that what was done was fair.

SOL Research sent a letter to her boyfriend informing him of Amber’s inquiry. Then she told us her story.

I never had a real great childhood, to be honest. My parents separated when I was real young. They never actually divorced, but never lived in same household too much either. My moms house was about ten or 15 minutes away from my dads. My dad always took care of us, moneywise. He paid the bills, but was an alcoholic very bad. And my mom did drugs, pretty much anything she could get her hands on, but mostly meth. So when my dad would come home, which was maybe one or two times a week, it would be at night when he was drunk and she was strung out on whatever drug she had gotten that day. They would CONSTANTLY fight. Scream and yell and argue. It was just best that he didnt even come home really.

I have an older sister, but she got scholarships and moved off to college when I was seven. She still feels very guilty for leaving me there because she moved five hours away and we never saw each other and she knew what kind of life she left me in. She had always really done everything I needed, instead of our mom. So I pretty much raised myself from that point on. There would be times when my mom wouldnt even get up out of bed because she was coming down from drugs and other times where she wouldnt even be home for days at a time.

I always did really well in school though, in spite of it all. I’d have rather been at school than at home any day at that point. I had lots of animals and things to keep me busy. I was on an equestrian drill team, that was really fun! We rode at rodeos almost every weekend, where we had competitions, like barrel racing. That is how I met Terry.

My team had a competition about an hour from my hometown. There were all kinds of little stands, like food stands and games and such. Terry was working at a stand with his brother in law there that weekend. He is really short and REALLY didnt look 18. I thought he was more like 15 or 16. I was only 13 but, having the life I had, was way more mature than what I should have been, and getting away with things I shouldnt have. We ended up talking that weekend and figured out that he was from the same town I was, that actually he only lived about ten minutes from my house! So he asked for my number and I gave it to him. He never did ask how old I was, but at 13 I looked about 16 or 17—so nobody can really hold that against him.

Later that week, he called and asked if I wanted to hang out. I was having some people over the following weekend and I told him he could come if he wanted. He did and we just hit it off. We were together almost every day after that.

I lied and told him that I was 16. My mom knew how old he was but it didnt phase her because she knew that I was mature enough to know what I was doing, and she loved Terry too! They got along great! Terry would take me to school in the mornings then go to work, and would come straight to my house when he got off. Two or three nights out of the week he would stay the night, but not every night.

We were together for about eight months. Then a teacher overheard someone talking about us and found out how old he was. She knew what was going on with my mom too, so she called CPS. They came in and took me from my mom. By that time, my sister was married and working as a teacher in Houston, so they let me live with her. That was really, really hard on me. I wasnt allowed to talk to Terry, and could only have supervised visits with my mom and family. But I found ways to talk to him. I would write him letters and give them to my friends to give to him. I hated living in Houston! They let me move home after about six months. Terry was already in jail, the state had picked up charges for statutory rape. My mom and I did what we could to help him but the state and CPS took over.

I wouldnt say I was abused by anyone (ESPECIALLY Terry). But it was definitely all blown out of proportion and twisted around to make it look like Terry abused me, or took advantage of me. Yes, I was young, but everything that I felt was real. I have two children now and I do not have near the feelings for their daddy that I do for Terry. Its my fault that he is in trouble because I lied about my age. I know that and I would do anything to change it. I just wish things would have gone differently.

Six months after we sent the letter for her, Amber wrote back with an update.

I dont know if you remember, but you helped me contact Terry. I just wanted to let you know I really appreciated it. Terry and I have been writing back and forth to each other ever since. Its awesome. I am now trying to go through all kinds of laws and whatnot to see if it is legal for us to be together when he gets out.