|A Consenting Juveniles narrative is a first-hand account reporting the words of the research subject on his or her experience.|
The narrative on this page is an anonymous account of correspondence conducted by SOL Research. All names of persons and places, as well as other personal details have been changed.
If anyone says this was abuse, I think theyre an idiot.
This case is interesting because of the young age at which it started, the length of time it went on, and Curtiss feelings about what took place both at the time and later on.
An exception is made to include this case because, although Curtis partner was about the same age, he was a lot more knowledgeable about sex than Curtis was.
From the age of five or six until I was ten or eleven, I periodically engaged in rather extensive sex play with a boy who was in the same grade as me. We called it the pee-worm game. He generally initiated it, and we both enjoyed it. I didnt think there was anything wrong with it at first, but in time, I came to feel guilt and shame about it. I dont think this was any different from what I felt about masturbation, given my religiously conservative upbringing. Ive since gotten over the guilt and shame about both, and my only regret is that I wasnt able to do it earlier. In reflecting on aspects of this experience, Ive come to realize that there was a sizable knowledge differential between us (he knew a lot more than I did), and sometimes he got me to do things that I didnt entirely understand at the time. But if anyone wants to tell me this was abuse, I think theyre an idiot. I was there. They werent.
I sometimes wonder if this experience is part of why the idea of child sexuality doesnt fill me with horror today. I sometimes wonder if the experience would have really been all that different if it was with someone older than me, different enough to magically transform it into abuse. Maybe thats the real harm in the experience, its led me to believe that a lot of self-proclaimed experts dont know what theyre talking about.
There is one thing about the experience for which Im grateful: If Id grown up in the state where I now live, this childhood experience would have made me a sex criminal.